Tomorrow we (cross fingers) find out the sex of the peanut. I am so excited and so scared at the same time. Actually, that pretty much sums up this whole experience - exciting and scary. I can't believe we are half way done. I can't believe at the end of all of this, we are actually going to have a kid. You get so caught up in the TTC, and the morning sickness and the day to day "what the hell is my body doing now" of it all, it is easy to forgot that at the end of all of this, a doctor in a white coat is going to hand us a tiny little person and let us go home with it.
Wrapping my head around that part is so very big. Have I mentioned scary?
Also - why does no one tell you that being pregnant is just one giant weird sort of ouchy experience? That you will feel and experience things that are so strange and so bizzare and really have no cause for any of it besides, "oh, it is the baby".
For example - Rolling over in bed now is a three step process. Peeing actually hurts sometimes and you can feel your internal organs moving back into place once your bladder is empty. Every other day or so, expecially if I have walked more then normal the day before or stood for a long period of time, I really do feel like someone kicked me hard in the crotch. Sneezing sucks. Food I used to love, I now hate and I am thirsty all the time. And my stomach is pointy and hard and a few times a day, I feel like I am getting tickled from the inside.
I feel like I am driving Sean crazy talking about all of this all the time, but he is really the only person I can talk to about it. I am the first of all my girlfriends to be pregnant, and I really do wish someone else was so we could go through it together. I am crossing fingers, toes and eyes that my friends who are trying right now have good baby luck.
Because, you can't really just drop into casual conversation with a girlfriend who isn't in the same boat "Jesus, my nipples got HUGE". It just doesn't work. :)